What They Don’t Tell You About Having a Boy

I have been on record many times saying that I was meant to have a daughter. I love all things pink and flowery with unicorns and hearts on everything. I remember holding my breath as my beautiful son was born thinking maybe the blood test and 1000 ultrasounds were wrong…it could still be a girl. But God gave me a son for a reason, so I blindly but happily go through life as a #boymom .

All of that being said, no one ever told me that having a son would mean only having a few early years of dressing him in Polo, madris, Sperrys and all things deliciously preppy. We have been in phase 2 of “fashion” for awhile now, but little things like Luke’s new TMNT shoes remind me that I no longer have a say in what’s cute. Matt takes Luke shoe shopping now, bc I just can’t even. I have been known to lie to my precious son when he picks up a loud character shirt and tell him they don’t have his size. I am actually thankful for school uniforms.

Wouldn’t trade him for the world, but I do look forward to some cooler clothes in the near future. 

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5 Year Old Boys: Not for the Faint of Heart

I kinda feel like this post doesn’t need much in way of an explanation. My first reaction after receiving this email (while in a staff meeting) was to laugh. Like laugh forever. Then I remembered that I am a parent and probably should be disappointed or angry. I don’t even know how to have the above requested conversation with Luke. 

I would like to think that him flaunting his nudity would have no future impact on his lady classmates, but I know this to not be true. When I was in Kindergarten, a little boy in my class wanted to play “you show me yours and I’ll show you mine.” I was modest even back then so I never showed him mine…but he couldn’t stop showing me his. I can’t remember what I ate for lunch yesterday, but I remember every moment of that experience 35 years ago. Luckily we are still great friends today.

Anyway…

I feel like this should be a father/son conversation for sure. I really did try tonight, but I could quite get the words right – so I stopped at “Please don’t show your front (or back) office to anyone at school. If you need to change clothes, go to the bathroom and shut the door. You should never remove your underwear at school.” His response? Couldn’t tell you because he was speaking in Curious George. 

Decisions, Decisions

Luke has always loved choosing what to wear. Gone are the days when I could dress him in Ralph Lauren or Nautica – now he prefers to wear what I call “gym shorts” and some sort of themed Tshirt (usually Mickey Mouse.)

Before he started private school this year, I was worried that I would never get him into his uniform. Worried enough to take all his other clothes out of his closet and only leave uniform shirts and shorts and it worked well. The funny thing is, he still thumbs through his shirts to make a choice…even though they are all the same. This morning was actually a quick decision – he usually takes a lot longer!

Kindness counts

This is the face of a boy who loves a new book, especially when it’s Pete the Cat. He will it around and sleep with it for weeks, and I love it because it means we are raising a grateful child.  

The road to receive this book however was a bumpy one.

I bought this book and a Pete the Cat doll (of course) because Luke had a nice little streak of good behavior in school this week – and because I like to give presents. But when he got home [cue the dramatic music] he announced that he was on yellow at school today because he didn’t follow directions. Luke generalizes this term and could mean putting his body all over other kids, talking when he wasn’t supposed to or not listening to his teachers. 

Luke’s Friday afternoon reward was quickly stashed for a later date.

FFWD to bedtime. This child acts. a. fool. So much so that he ends up frustrated and cries. Then I get frustrated and cry. This child stands up, hugs me, gives me a kiss and then goes into the bathroom. And brings me a tissue. A TISSUE. 

I’m dead.

Armed with knowledge that I’m probably not raising a tyrant or future serial killer, I run downstairs and get his book. He may have not made the best choices today or been a good listener, but Luke was kind. Kind without an agenda or because he thought he would be rewarded, but kind because it’s who he is. 

Kindness matters. Always. 

Mama: At Your Service

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6:55 p.m. That’s the first time I have stopped since 5 a.m. The first time I have stopped taking care of someone else’s needs all day and sort of acknowledged myself. Don’t get me wrong, I live to take care of other people…I really feel like it’s God purpose for my life, and my heart’s joy.  I have never met a person or cause in need that I didn’t feel a deep feeling of responsibility to help.

Maybe I have all the feels because it’s Shark Week for the 12th week in a row. Maybe this Mama just needs to vent.

I am so very fortunate to have a family. A husband that is a great provider, friend and father – a child that is my life’s happiness. But somedays I feel like the help…the cook, the chauffeur, the maid. As a natural giver, I don’t ask for a lot. But some days, like today, when I make 2 dinners and have yet to have something for myself…when I cook and clean-up…when a “thank you” never comes from anyone – I feel something that no Mama wants to feel: unappreciated.

I need an outlet, a hobby or some Mama time – but how do I, the care giver ask to be taken care of? Are all of us – Mamas everywhere – just living for our families and not taking time to live for ourselves?

To all the Mamas out there, single, coupled – working outside the home or working at home: I see you. I feel you. I appreciate you.

“3 Secrets That Will Potty Train Your Child In Just 3 Days”

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Seeing articles about training kids (especially boys) to use the potty in *just 3 days* makes me laugh. Every time. What makes me think that I can boot camp my kid into abandoning their pull-up when I can’t get to make a rational decision about, well – anything. Have you met my son?

In case you want to read the hilarious article, be my guest.

If you want the real secrets to potty training your son – pain free – here are mine:

  1. Casually discuss the potty. Read potty books. Show him the potty but by all means, don’t make them sit on it all day. If you ask them if they want to do it and they say no, abort mission.
  2. Send them to preschool with their favorite pull-ups.
  3. Hope that there are older boys in your son’s class that wears underwear. Full-time.
  4. Wait for you precious child to connect the dots and ask for underwear of this own.
  5. Stand back and watch your child wear underwear, go to the bathroom on his own and never look back. He probably knew all along but just felt like being lazy and giving zero flips about it because he is a guy and sitting in a hot diaper doesn’t faze him.

Seriously. don’t waste the tears, threats and swear words…wait for the lightbulb to come on, the switch to flip. If you the lucky chosen one who has tackled it in 3 days (or heck 30 days) – I applaud you. I kinda miss the days of diapers, but just the days I have to clean the bathroom of a 5 year old boy.